Unable to Move On
by Axrat
Summary: I was responsible for it. For your death. That fatal car crash was my fault. I killed you. I wouldn't blame you if you never forgive me. Oneshot, Riku's POV


Author's notes: Well, it's my first oneshot ever, so I hope it's not _too _bad. I'm practicing for my creative writing unit in English. We have to write a short story of 500-1000 words. The story itself in this is about 996 words, according to Microsoft Word…

**Unable to Move On**

The accident… It was all my fault. I could've prevented it. It was my eighteenth… I'd gone out partying… I was an idiot. The look on your face, it's haunted me to this day. You looked so surprised… all you did was step out onto the pedestrian crossing… she was there, standing on the footpath… the look of horror on her face as my car slammed into you… It'll forever haunt me.

I wasn't invited to your funeral, but I was there. I was supposed to be in jail, but you can't lock a Keyblader up with a lock and key. I was there, hiding in the oak tree. I had a hard time keeping myself there. Your parents looked so torn up. You were an only child…

I saw her, Kairi, down on the island. She hit me, screamed at me, said things very unbecoming of a Princess of Heart, all directed at _me…_ all because I was an idiot, because I hit you, all because I killed you that night. I still haven't forgiven myself. I wonder who the next Keyblade Master will be…

Well, it sure as hell isn't me.

Every time I think about you, I can almost hear Xehanort's Heartless laughing at me, deep in the depths of my heart.

Sometimes, I would stand on the docks, looking out at the water, hoping that I would see your boat moving slowly towards the island. It never happened. And every time I waited, Xehanort's Heartless would laugh harder.

I had enough. I walked up to the cave, where you and Kairi had drawn all those pictures on the walls. I did my best not to look at them. It only hurt to be reminded of you, reminded me of what I had done that night. I hated my birthday more than any other day in existence. I stared at the door. What would happen if I stepped through it, I wondered. Maybe I would die. Maybe I would end up in another world. Maybe I would be trapped forever in limbo. Never waking, never dying. That seemed like fit punishment.

Even so, I couldn't bring myself to open the door.

I forced myself to look around the cave at the white chalk drawings you and Kairi made. Finally, I had to leave. I couldn't stand staying there any longer. It felt like you were breathing down my neck, reprimanding me. I could feel tears in my eyes, but I refused to cry.

I walked back to the beach. Xehanort's Heartless laughed louder than it ever had before. I felt the darkness pressing against my heart, eroding it. Finally, I sighed. I felt a single tear run down my face.

Over the next couple of weeks I got in more trouble with the law than I had ever before. I hadn't returned home since I had been arrested for hitting you, so I had no problems there. I was sent back to jail several times, and every time I escaped. I'd been buying illegal substances, AKA, drugs.

The effects didn't bother me. They helped distract me, actually, although I'd never recommend it.

I returned to the island one day, and looked at my reflection in the water at the base of the waterfall. I was broken. My eyes were dull stones, my skin deathly pale. I looked _dead._

I walked down to the beach and began walking along the sand. I stopped, staring at the sun set. _Maybe I was never walking the road to the dawn. _

I recalled something DiZ, or, rather, Ansem the Wise, said after my journey through Castle Oblivion.

"_What are you making me choose now?" _

"_Between the road to light… and the road to darkness." _

"_Neither suits me. I'm taking the middle road." _

"_Do you mean the twilight road to nightfall?" _

The twilight road to nightfall… Maybe he was right. Maybe it wasn't the road to dawn, like I had been so certain it had been.

I fell to my knees, looking out at the waves. I gave in. I let Xehanort's Heartless take over. I became his puppet again. I didn't resist as I felt myself slip away into the dark depths of my heart, and him take over my actions. Rather, I welcomed it. I was no longer guilty for whatever became of me.

Even in the darkness, I felt a glimmer of light shining, the only place Xehanort was not. From the light, I saw you form. You took my hand in both of yours, holding it between us. The look on your face was full of sorrow. What were you sorry for, I thought, I killed you!

"_I never blamed you." _

It took me a moment to figure out who was speaking, that it was you talking to me. It took me a moment to find my voice.

"Sora… forgive me, please." I begged. My voice cracked slightly as I forced the words out.

"_You were forgiven before I was dead." _

I felt a light engulf me, and I found my self lying on my back and staring at the star-dotted sky. I sat up. I could feel a light inside my heart, keeping Xehanort's Heartless at bay. I knew it was you; there was no doubt in my mind. When you died, your soul remained and clung onto me, I guessed.

"Riku…"

I looked over to my right at the burgundy haired young woman standing there, a soft smile upon her lips. She offered me her hand.

"I'm sorry."

I took her hand in mine. "I'm sorry, too."

She helped me to my feet, and then pulled me into a hug. I rested my chin on the top of her head. It took me a moment to realise that she was crying. She must've been having a hard time moving on, too.

Well, then, I thought, we'll move on together.

I thought I heard laughing again. But it wasn't Xehanort's…

It was yours.


End file.
